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| 37% of People Believe Santa was Baby Jesus' First Visitor? | 93.7 The BUS |
Christmas is basically a time of the year, where we chop down adult versions of you. We put you in our living rooms, and we eat like the pigs we are. We throw you in the fire, and sing about how happy it makes us. We destroy whole forest, and eat everything in sight. We also summon a giant dead chicken, than rampages through everywhere, killing anything that's alive. Oh, there's also Santa Claus. He sneaks into our houses, and gives our children gifts. The gifts, of course, are placed under you. We have to set out milk and cookies, else, he will destroy our house, and eat our souls. For he is the God of Christmas. ALL HAIL SANTA CLAUS! ALL HAIL GYUB, LORD OF THE PIT! Doesn't Christmas sound like fun, little pine tree? Doesn't it? HUMAN BEINGS ARE GREAT! What's that, you're afraid? Don't worry, you'll be dead before you know it. In my house, guarding the gifts the pedophile Santa gives to our children. You'll be dead, soon. And we'll be happy.
